Well I woke up this morning and I got outta bed
I looked at my schedule and it filled me with dread
Cuz I gotta go to work today but all I wanna do is snooze
I got me the Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Blues
The lights are all flicker flourescent
The seats are all sticky stuff
The desks were all built by Frank Lloyd Wrong
Man I've had more than enough!
They turn on the heater just in time for May
But they can't get the AC up til Halloween day
Oh I'm dreading my workplace and those funny blue fumes
I got me the Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Blues
We finally got some computers
A 486 is my fate
The copy machine's always busy
with a one page per hour rate
The coffee is decaf and it always tastes like glue
The tea that's in the pantry is Lord Silver Grey's Old Shoe
We're all out of White Out cuz the manager has no clues
I got me the Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Blues
I'm supposed to make up the flyers
All glossy and color fresh
But this dot matrix printer's
Always being laid out to rest
Our address isn't listed, our phone line never works
Our building is falling apart, the landlord just says it's "quirks"
The Better Business Bureau just refunded us our dues
I got me the Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Blues
We lost us our network guru
He'd decorated his cube
But the Cubicle Cops came and took him away
And their Uzis were really rude!
We're overseen by fascists
The bathrooms haven't been cleaned
The lights are driving me wild
My boss is a damn machine
There's asbestos in the ceiling
And cracks in the windowpane
I need to find me my muse -
cuz I got Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Cubical Hell Cubicle Hell Blues
Jacob Sommer
November 12, 2000