Singing Note: At the end of each question of the chorus, there's a verbal pause to let the audience give a very quick response. Singer has the choice to end the chorus section with something like "OK, you're clear" or "Up against the wall buddy" or other statements. Time is roughly 120 beats per minute.
It's just another day at the Customs queue
A busy lot of people but they're all standing true
Well the first one I'll process is this man in a suit
with creases sharp as razors and carrying a flute
Chorus:
What's the nature of your visit?
How long will you be here?
Did you pack your own bags?
Anything to declare?
Are you sneaking any drugs?
Or shotguns or beer?
Where exactly are you going?
Does your Mom know you're here?
Well that was pretty easy and I'm ready for more
And we're dealing with the people who're coming through the door
This next person looks like a whole lot of fun
In her wimple and her collar like a Catholic nun.
Chorus
That plane disembarked and we finished with the search
and we found ourselves a stowaway really in the lurch
His skin was green and scaly and his eyes were like a frog
I'm the one who'll check the passport and record it in the log
Chorus
The line is kinda funny and I'm sure you will agree
I just finished with the dog and his little pet flea
I never saw a dog like that who stood on two feet
and handed me his passport when I started my greet
Chorus
Sometimes I really wonder where the flights come from
When the passengers have insect eyes and pop their bubble gum
But some of them are stranger like the creature who is next
Cuz his passport says "Satan" where the name is in the text
Chorus
It's easy here at Customs, we know just what to do
when confronted with a smuggler who is sneaking a kazoo
We'll take away his contraband and sit him in a room
And inform him just to answer or else he'll face his doom
Chorus
I'm ready for this Customs day to end
I want to sit back and relax with a friend
This guy looks friendly as he looks me in the eyes
and his really pointy ears are not a surprise
Chorus
The woman next in line is looking pretty strange
with electric blue hair and her smile quite deranged
Her blouse it is a see through and her skirt is pretty short
She's not wearing any underwear, don't ask me how I know
Chorus
Jacob Sommer
17 October 2000