The seasons have been passing and it's time to buy some stuff
We're going to the mall to shop and hope we buy enough
For all our friends and neighbors and our relatives so gruff
For this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year.
We pull into the parking lot and try to find a space
but the parking is in shambles near the floating Jesus face
We ditch the car a mile away and trudge to join the race
For this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year.
Into the crowded mall we go, at last we are inside
We'll get into the stores that still have sales brochures to guide
And get some gifts we know my seventh cousin hasn't tried
For this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year.
The things that are on sale have disappeared without a trace
Just to move another storefront needs my elbows and some mace
We'll find that outside exit with some prayer and some grace
For this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year.
It's getting even crowdeder inside this little mall
Which only has some seven million square feet left to sprawl
I cannot even reach my phone or 9-1-1 I'd call
For this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year.
They're stacking up the customers like cordwood by the load
And still they bring in passersby out from the local road
I think that if more people come this mall will soon explode
BOOOOM!
(slowly and shakily)
On this RamaHanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaa year!
Jacob Sommer
copyright December 11, 2000