Chorus:
Playing "Hide and Seek Tag" with a dragon in a dungeon
I tell ya that dragon is a real curmudgeon
If I sneak on out then I am the winner
But if I can't I'm a Dragon Dinner
I went out with my friends to get glory and fame
But glory and fame aren't the name of the game
No we learned real fast that glory is swell
But it don't buy our supper - oh hell.
So we came up with a plan to line our pockets
Get ourselves some rings and gold and lockets
We're gonna break into the castle with an armored horse and wagon
We'll steal the chalice from the palace and the flagon with the dragon
(Chorus)
Well we didn't count on getting caught
We shoulda planned this heist with a moment of thought
We mighta gotten clueful when we stood in line
When the sign said Serving Two Hundred Ninety Nine
Our choices they became pretty grim
Our survival was lookin' mighty slim
We could fight in the arena or try the Dragon deal
But that Unicorn Leapfrog has zero real appeal
(Chorus)
We lost our fighter when he tried to hold the dragon back
He was shredded like a block of Monterey Jack
Our cleric thought he had the final solution
He came out lookin' like salsa from that "peaceful resolution"
Our paladin charged cuz she thought it would work
Now she looks like guacamole in the dungeon murk
(Spoken - "Hey, anybody want some nachos?)
Our wizard tried her spells to elude and deceive
Now it's just her and me, the (cough) palace reeve.
(Chorus)
Well we made it to the door and I almost can't believe it
Using just the wizard spells and (cough) palace reeve wit
So now my wizard lady friend, well I'm gonna make her mine
If we make it through again at Five Hundred Twenty Nine
(Chorus)
Yeah...
(Chorus)
(Anguished Voice: No! Not the Unicorn Leapfrog!)
Jacob Sommer
October 8, 2000